Constant
by symplymystery
Summary: POV of Melinda May & Philip Coulson set in The Playground with spoilers for the 1st season finale. Hint of Philinda.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the characters - All are from Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. This is the first piece of Fanfic I have written and I'm not sure if it will just be drabbles or if I will continue from this piece.

* * *

Melinda stirred after another fitful night of sleep, she figured that tonight would be different, that the exhaustion that the rage of the berserker staff and fighting Ward would keep her in peaceful oblivion tonight. Turned out she was wrong. Her muscles ached and fatigue had settled in the minute she had touched the bed, but here she was at 3 in the morning wide awake.

She got out of bed and winced when her muscles protested. She padded out barefoot to the kitchen at the Playground in a black tank top and grey slacks. She put the kettle on and made a mug of peppermint tea whilst sipping her tea she decided to roam the base and look around as she had been too preoccupied when they had first arrived. While going past the storage room she heard a faint scraping noise. She put down her mug, adjusted her footing and lowered her stance ready to attack before she crept into the room.

What she saw made her wish she had stayed in bed just a little longer, a little longer for her to put off this moment. There was Coulson, clutching a knife and carving into stone the same diagrams Garret had on the Bus. She took a breath and her mind went through the check-list of symptoms patients treated with GH.325 displayed before their complete deterioration into madness. Her next thought was _it's begun._

She cautiously approached and gently called out "Coulson", she waited for a reply "Philip" he hadn't responded, so she tried louder "Phil!" She came up behind him and wrapped her hand around the wrist holding the knife, he didn't resist he just stopped writing, so she gently pried the knife from his hand, once she'd secured the knife and placed it on a nearby shelf, she tried to wake him again. "PHIL! Please! It's Melinda, please wake-up." It didn't work, so she steered him away from the wall and lead him back to his room. She gently tucked him in and his eyelids finally close over his blank gaze.

Melinda quickly retrieved an Icer from her room and pulled up a chair next to Phil's bed, settled in it and waited for him to wake.

A couple of hours later Philip stirred and turned over onto his stomach, his right arm hung partially off the side of the bed and it looked uncomfortable, he flipped back onto his back. While doing so his eyes half opened and he caught a glimpse of her; he was instantly alert. "Good morning" she had greeted and waited for his brain to register that it was her sitting in the chair next to his bed and she saw him relax. "Morning May". He greeted while sitting sitting up and that's when he noticed the Icer in her hand. It wasn't directly pointed at him, but he could tell that it was situated in her hand ready to be used. "May, what's going on? Why do you have a gun at the ready?". "It's an Icer. Before you say anything you'll regret I need to tell you that I found you earlier in the storage room, carving the same diagram Garret did on the wall." She watched and waited. As she saw his confusion turn into anger, then fear and finally defeat. He took a breath "It's begun?" he asked. "Yes" she replied with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

This Chapter is all in Coulson's POV. Sorry it took so long to update! I got a nasty cold & being my first fanfic, it's been hard getting into their heads so sorry if they're not quite right. Luckily listening to 'You' by Pretty Reckless, 'Drift Away' by Dobie Gray & 'One & Only' by Adele helped with writing this. Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

After her revelation this morning he needed time to think and process. He was thankful that as always, she knew what he needed and after giving his shoulder a squeeze she'd left him to begin his day. After staring at his diagram in the storage room and pacing for about an hour, he entered the gym knowing that Melinda would be there doing her evening Tai Chi. "I need to discuss this with you. I've been thinking about it all day. I think I should tell the rest of the team. We need to make a plan in case - well you know." Melinda rolled her eyes. "Yes, okay we need to make a plan for us and then tell the team. I should tell them now right? No; maybe in the morning." She moved her hands in a flowing motion. "You're right in the morning."

"Mel" Her movements pause for a fraction of a moment. "Mel, if I go insane, if I compromise the security of the world, the team, you..."

She stills then turns to face him "I'll fix the problem."

"I... Thank you." He sighed, somehow he felt calmer. He leant against the wall and watched her finish her last stance. She looked so composed, controlled and graceful; like nothing could faze her. But he knows better. He was there with her digging through the ashes of Bahrain.

"May, I know this is asking a lot from you. I need to make sure that.." "What I mean is you've come a long way over the years, a long way since you.. since Bahrain." She completed her final exhale and her arms fell to her side. She didn't look at him, but he could tell by the slight tensing of her shoulders that she was listening; she'd always been quiet and better at listening than him so he continued. "I guess what I'm saying is, we're in this together and if you need to talk I'm here. I have your back too"

Melinda turned to face him. He wasn't sure about what he would do if she wasn't in this with him. He knows that she didn't even blame him for everything he said and did, he didn't even thank her. He knows she didn't want or need to be thanked, but part of him still felt like he hasn't managed to tell her just how glad he is that she is back. She was always able tell him anything with a look, if he is really paying attention. After the Hub he had been deaf to everything she was saying to him, her words and her eyes. Consumed with a rage from the belief that the one person he thought he could share anything with could betray him and watch him suffer. He'd forgiven her before he saw her in the motel room.

He was afraid to look up into her eyes, afraid that all he would see was the hardness she'd grown to protect herself over the years. He bit the bullet and looked into them, what he saw in there gave him hope. She was right there with him in the moment, not lost in haunting memories. All her emotions were right there for one rare moment and he drowned in them, all her fear, sorrow, hope and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on; whatever it was gave him the reassurance he needed.

"Phil, I've lived through you dying once. At least _if_ it comes down to it this time I know I would have done everything possible in this universe to save you."

He didn't know what to say, there was just too much and nothing felt like it would ever be enough.

"We will work through this. You are **not **Garrett; he was selfish and driven by a misguided sense of entitlement. _You_; you're driven to **protect**; _you_ stand for everything that was good about S.H.I.E.L.D. That's why this team follows _you_. Y_ou _foster and nurture the good in those around you. _You_ inspire loyalty and _you_ give a sense of purpose even when all looks lost". She paused and looked like she was about to say more instead she took a breath and just looked at him.

"Thank you" He knows it's not much but he hoped that she could read his eyes and see everything that those two words meant. She smiled her gentle smile, the one she seems give only to him and he knew she understood.

"You should talk to Skye first" She finally said after a few seconds of silence.

"Yes, she's still awake" He replied. She turned to leave, "Where are you going?"

"Skye". Right, of course, she was going to get Skye now. "Meet in my office in 5".


	3. Chapter 3

So, sorry for the slow updates. Life is busy and I won't lie, it's hard to find inspiration for the story. I haven't planned it out. But I now have a rough idea of the next 2 chapters, thanks to my amazing friend who proof-read my last chapters and I have now edited them.

This chapter is all in May's POV.

Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

After leaving Coulson in the gym May headed towards the hanger, as she figured that Skye would be in the back of the SUV. She knocked twice on the back passenger side door and pulled the door open. Skye was curled up on the other side with her laptop on her knees and an open bag of Cheetos beside her. Melinda noted that Skye looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes and it looked liked she'd been crying.

"Can I help you?" Skye queried with a hint of animosity.

Melinda ignored her tone, but made a mental note to continue their interrupted conversation in the motel room.

"Coulson and I need to see you in his office now" Melinda replied in what she hoped was a gentle tone.

Skye sighed heavily and moved her laptop off her and closed the lid, putting it on the seat. Melinda guessed she intended to come back here after the meeting.

"If it's about Ward and you're worried about me, don't be." Skye told her in clipped tones.

Melinda gave Skye a pointed look that brooked no argument and answered. "It's not about that, but we **will** discuss _that_ after Tai Chi tomorrow morning. That is, if you're still interested in learning some 'hate-fu'. Melinda twitched her lips into a hint of a smile, then turned and walked away. She didn't look back and after a couple of seconds she heard Skye shuffle along behind her.

* * *

Melinda decided to stand by the door, while Skye flopped into a chair in front of Phil's desk. Normally, she would be in the chair opposite him, perching on the edge of the desk or standing beside him; but she wasn't sure if he wanted her present while he spoke with Skye about the GH.325 and this way if he asked her to leave, it wouldn't be an awkward long walk to the door. Melinda looked Phil over; he'd gotten his composure back and was sitting in his chair with his hands clasped in front of him.

"What's up A.C?" Sky greeted, but it lacked her normal enthusiasm.

Phil took a breath "Remember when Quinn shot you and we used the same serum they used on me to save you?"

"Well, obviously I don't remember it being injected into me but yeah, Jemma is still monitoring me and taking regular samples. I think she is hoping to get Fitz back with it, well based on the brief conversation we had today, we were a bit too tired for a proper D and M," Phil gave Skye a questioning look at this.

"You know; Deep and Meaningful." Skye clarified and then carried on.

"So yeah, I remember the alien juice that's in us. What I don't understand now is why we're still keeping it from the team, well obviously May knows, cos she's here. I think you should let Simmons research it; she is a scientist you know. She'll like, go all 'This will change the world' and she has to research 'For science'. She's really quite scary, passionate about it sometimes. I know that we were keeping it from the team to protect them, but seriously secrets are the last thing we need after everything that's gone down. But let's face it there's no S.H.I.E.L.D anymore and well, we've been through so much and you said yourself that we wouldn't be bound by protocol by this, right? Besides anyone who had answers are either dead, scattered around the world or possibly Hydra, I reckon the team can handle it and we need them, if we want answers." Skye rambled out; Melinda smirked as it was nice to hear Skye speak normally with her thoughts falling out of her mouth without thought.

"Yes, well. About that, I found out more about the side effects..." Phil replied while turning his laptop around. Melinda knew that he was going to show her the report she'd dug up.

* * *

"Whoa! Umm okay. So I'm going to go Cuckoo? I would have preferred sprouting a pointy tail. Wait, how long had you known?" Skye asked, after watching the video log.

"Since May came back, she didn't abandon us. She left to get answers to the questions I had and came back with this." Phil replied.

"Right, okay. So why now? Why didn't you tell us earlier? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I mean this affects me too, what if I go all crazy and pull a Ward and start dumping people into the ocean or something?" Skye's voice got higher with each question; she was clearly agitated and looked like she was going to cry. So Melinda went to her and placed her hand on Skye's shoulder giving it a gentle but firm squeeze. Skye looked up at her but didn't shrug off her hand, which was a positive.

"I'm sorry Skye, at the time we had more important things to worry about. Neither of us was showing any symptoms, so I thought we could leave it until things quietened down a bit. Oh, as a side note there is still S.H.I.E.L.D, well there will be. Fury made me Director and we're going to rebuild." Melinda noticed that Phil hadn't gotten out the actual reason for this meeting, that he'd avoided answering directly Skye's question as to 'Why now'.

"So, what changed? Something must have changed; I mean May wouldn't come get me at this hour just for a chat that could potentially wait. Things haven't exactly 'calmed down' as you put it. Have you noticed something with me? Have I blacked out and started being all cray-cray?" Skye demanded, while May squeezed her shoulder again and rubbed her back, she really wanted to try to keep Skye calm.

"No,_ you_ haven't." Phil responded.

"Oh... Oh. What do we do now A.C?" Skye slumped into the chair, brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight.

Phil looked at Melinda for the first time since she walked in, he was pleading with her with his eyes, asking for help. It was worrying that Phil hadn't come up with a plan yet, he's normally the first to start running scenarios, limiting the independent variables and coming up with contingencies.

So Melinda took a breath and answered. "We take each day as it comes. Tomorrow we talk to Simmons, full disclosure and we start working through this together. Skye has a point we need the whole team in on this; right now is not the time for the red tape and it's certainly not the time to stand alone." May forced her voice to sound firm and confident, she wasn't sure of anything at all. But she couldn't let Phil down, not again. She met his eyes and held them for a moment to get her point across, after a few seconds he nodded and gave a small smile.

"Okay, that sounds doable. But what about if we can't fix it, what if we become a danger to those around us?" Tears had gathered in Skye's eyes and they started streaming as she continued. "The team is the closest thing to a family I've had. I don't want to hurt any of you. A.C you're like the closest I've come to having a father figure and to watch you lose your mind..." Skye sobbed and grabbed Melinda's hand that was on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Please, you're the only one strong enough. Please stop me if, if I try to hurt anyone. If I'm too far gone, please just save everyone. You're the strongest person I know and you have the whole compartmentalising thing down, that and I don't want a stranger to do it." Skye's pleads struck her hard, it cemented her decision to take Skye under her wing so to speak. In that moment Skye sounded just like Phil and it tore her apart inside. She managed to give a firm nod, while looking into Skye's eyes, she tried projecting the same look of reassurance she gave Phil.

"Thank you." Skye whispered and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Phil stood and went to the other side of Skye and put his hand on her other shoulder while crouching down to look at her.

"We will get through this Skye; it might not get to that point. But you're right, May is the strongest person I know too and that includes Captain America! She won't let anything happen to us and she won't let us hurt anyone. We won't be alone, she won't let us be and when Melinda May has made up her mind about something she tends to get her way. If anyone can scare insanity away it would be her." His attempt at humour made Melinda roll her eyes and smirk.

After he'd hugged Skye goodnight Melinda walked with Skye back to the SUV, they walked in silence until they got to the hanger.

"He has a point you know" Skye said and Melinda raise a questioning eyebrow.

"This world is full of monsters, not all of them human. But with people like you, people that are fully human and kick ass like you do. It seems possible to win against them. I think I owe you an apology, yeah I know you don't want it or need it or whatever but yeah, I actually thought you'd upped and left us when Ward told me. I thought you didn't care, even though Simmons told me that you'd smashed Quinn's face." Skye was rambling again and Melinda had to smile at that.

"I'll see you at 5 tomorrow morning, don't be late" Melinda answered and gave Skye one last squeeze on her shoulder and walked back to Phil's office.

* * *

She leant against the doorway and watched Phil; he was back in his chair with his face in his hands. She pushed off the frame and walked towards him.

"Scare insanity away, seriously?" She smirked and sat in the chair Skye had previously occupied.

"I was improvising, plus I believe it. Heck I need to believe it." Phil looked up at her and gave her a grim look.

"Get some rest Phil, we have a busy day tomorrow."

"I don't know if I can sleep, what if I go back to the storage room?"

"I'll watch over you."

"You need rest as well."

"I will get some"

"Promise?"

Melinda nodded and gave him a smile; she might have kept things from him. But she hadn't broken a promise and she didn't intend to start then.


End file.
